Taking the Double Dog Dare

I should have known better. Why listen to someone who walked her three yorkies simultaneously and think that it would work well for my dogs? Most important, her dogs weighed slightly more than a tissue box, while each of mine pushed 50-plus pounds.

Jasper (left) & Darcy

But my colleague with the yorkies made a compelling case.Her mile-long walks sounded pleasant and meditative. Plus by walking her dogs together, she did not have to make multiple trips home to retrieve the next one. For me, that meant not having to listen to the one left behind bark incessantly, whine and scratch at the door until I got out of earshot.

In retrospect, maybe I also wanted to believe that after the dollars and time spent training my two dogs they could behave during a joint-jaunt around the block.

So one day, when my husband/walking partner, could not join me, I decided to take both dogs for our two-miler. I saddled up my little girl dog, Darcy, with the choke collar and my big boy, Jasper, with the gentle leader. Both received training on their respective collars and while they did not pass obedience school with flying colors, they did get through the 10-week program.(Darcy got the label of the happy piddler,because each time she got excited, which was virtually every moment she was there, she peed).

The Cheshire Cat by John Tenniel

Now, as adult dogs, I figured they had the maturity to walk well together. They did OK alone, so why not? Our route took us on three laps around the block and my confidence grew after circling twice without a hitch. I felt relaxed and at peace, loosening up on the leashes a bit. I failed to note that during those two laps we did not see a thing, meaning a human, a chipmunk,a squirrel, a deer, a moose,  a car, a cat, a dog or a blowing leaf.

The Longest 100 Yards

The scenario changed near the conclusion of the third lap. With only 100 yards to go and home almost in sight, I felt cavalier, confident and worst of all, relaxed. I failed to see the stealth cat hidden in the tall grass,just past the ditch.

But my eagle-eye dogs spotted her and they lunged. With my smooth-soled sneakers (a poor choice for walking, especially when walking two dogs) and my relaxed hold, I found myself dragged across the macadam like a water skier skimming the lake surface. When I hit the berm of the road I lost my balance and landed with arms and legs splayed. But I held the leashes. Looking up I saw my dogs within two feet of the cat, who just sat still contentedly enjoying the spectacle.

I got into table-top position and gradually rag-dolled my way to an upright stance as I uttered numerous expletives at my dogs. But to my surprise, the worst was yet to come.

Now totally excited and razzed by the cat, Darcy circled my legs, wrapping the leash tight around them. With Darcy behind me and Jasper making a frontal assault, I now fell backwards into the ditch, landing like a turtle on its shell. I still held the leashes making it difficult to untangle myself. Flailing around while I tried to turn over, I uttered audible sounds, kind of like moans. (Thankfully no one saw me although I did need rescue).

My dogs meanwhile cared less about my plight and stayed focused on that feline grinning like a Cheshire cat. They made multiple lunges,and although a part of me wanted to just let go of the leashes, I knew the cat and I would regret that decision. So I held tight.

Finally, I applied the skills I learned from taking numerous downhill skiing falls and managed to turn on my side. Gradually I untangled from the leashes, stood up, yanked my dogs, dusted off my scraped knees and elbows,brushed off my bruised ego, and began the slow 100-yard walk home. 

When I hobbled into my house, disheveled and disgusted, I swore I would never do a double-dog walk again.

…Well, never say never.

Years passed and memories fade. This week I took them for a double-dog walk, another two-miler. With no human, chipmunk, squirrel, deer,moose, car, cat, dog or blowing leaf in sight, we had that pleasant, meditative stroll my colleague told me about years ago. Miracles can happen and sometimes fantasies become reality.